Twice An Idiot

Ok, so I decided to be a Hogwarts student (Gryffindor house, of course!) for Halloween this year. I dressed up for a bachelorette on Friday and a bar party/rock show on Saturday. I bought the robe, scarf and tie, but I needed a wand. I used to have some crappy children's wand my dad gave me but I couldn't find it, so I went to/called toy and Halloween stores, but no luck. I was too last minute and they were all sold out. So I found this drumstick in my house and on Thursday night I sawed the end off of it and on Friday I just used that. Not a bad idea. However, on Saturday, I decided to try to make it look better. I got sandpaper and a file from my dad, then came home and sawed the little nub off. Then I found a knife of my flatmate's and decided to try to carve the thing.

Herein lies my first idiotic move of the night.

Of course I am cutting towards me and I end up slicing the side of my thumb. Holy crap! I've never seriously injured myself before (worst thing was spraining my ankle...I was in Rome...story for another day), never broke any bones and never had stitches. It was bleeding a lot, I grabbed a paper towel and held it tight, but I started to feel like I was going to pass out. Neither of my boys was home so I called my mom and told her I cut myself pretty bad and might pass out. So my parents came over. I didn't know if I should go to the hospital, but they thought I didn't need to and bandaged up my thumb. The whole time I'm crying like a baby. Freaked me the fuck out.

So now I have this stupid giantly-bandaged thumb that's going to drive me crazy. (Not to mention my OTHER thumb went numb right before the Great Slicing. I don't know what THAT'S about, but hey, of course I have to have that happen too!)

Anyway, I decide to still go to the Halloween show b/c I was looking forward to it (there's a Misfits cover band that plays that's actually really good and it kind of transports me back to 10 years ago, with all my punk friends going crazy). Had a decent time at the show, didn't drink for fear of thinning my blood and bleeding more. Also had to explain the thumb a lot.

Here comes idiotic move #2.

The ex was there. Little. Who I miss beyond comprehension. I hadn't seen him in a month or two. He was there ending the bachelor party night (the one that coincided with the bachelorette I went to). After the show and most of the bachelor party left, I was talking to Little. He was drunk and exhuasted from jumping around for 40 minutes. He wanted to go home, so I offered to drive him.

Then I asked if he had any band-aids I could take home b/c I didn't have any so he said to come in. So... well, I don't want to get TOO personal, but I ended up staying there. It's been over a year since the last time THAT happened.

I found out today he's been sort of seeing someone, but it's not going well. He says the same thing always happens, he starts getting irritated and snaps at the girl or whatever (I was the first...he never had a proper girlfriend before me). I told him I can't stay interested in anyone for very long. I don't know. I hate that I can't get over him. And yet there are tons of things that he does that drives me crazy...but we've both changed a lot in the last two years and I wish we could give it a shot again...

I hate me. I'm so stupid. I can't believe I let that happen last night. I wasn't even drunk (he WAS, though). I'm really surprised he let it happen too, actually.

Anyway, there you go, twice an idiot.

On the plus side, I made my 10 lb. mark today! 4 more to my first goal!

Kickboxing is going to suck with this thumb issue. I'll just have to not do the left hand stuff for a couple weeks.

The End.