AAAARRRRGGGGGHHHH!!!!!

Dammit! I love my job but sometimes it fucking pisses me off!!!!!! The "man in charge" is a cheap bastard and wants to make our lives as difficult as possible to save a few fucking pennies. CRAZY MOTHER FUCKING STUPID FUCK!!!!


Grag grar!

Heartbreak sucks.

OK, so I know I said I wasn't going to "get too personal" on here, but...I just feel so crappy I have to put it down SOMEwhere and I feel bad for all my friends that have to listen to me bitch and moan about this shit non-stop. (Even though they're the only ones reading this anyhow.) And I know there's nothing anyone can say that will make me feel better (and "god" bless them, they try, and I love the hell out of them for it).

So yes. I've had my heart broken. There is no mention of this relationship on this blog. There was one tiny post about it once, but I deleted it the moment it went south.

Anyway, here's the thing. It wasn't a long relationship by any means, in fact it lasted about a month and half...and I barely saw him in that time as he lived 5 hours away. (Though, now that I'm NOT with him, he's conveniently moved to the same city. Great.) But regardless of that, I fell for him. Hard. Like nothing I've had since I lost Little. I came close once, but the feelings weren't reciprocated, so it didn't get to this point.

With this one...they WERE reciprocated...at least I THOUGHT they were. Now it feels like it was all bullshit. I don't THINK it was, but it feels that way. I talked to him every day, sometimes for 5+ hours and learned to much about him that I never knew (I've know him about 6 years), and which made me like him so much more than I ever thought possible. And he was (is?) a good guy, a really good guy, I thought I was safe. I was more worried I was going to fall into this same pattern I have been of losing the feelings and then having to let HIM down.

That's not entirely true. I could tell how much I liked him right away, I even said to him I was afraid of getting my heart broken. That hasn't happened in awhile. I knew I was vulnerable, I knew it would happen. But him telling me he thought I would break his heart made me feel better. Made me think he really felt the same way.

Lucky me, I finally fall for a guy and am able to move past Little to really GO for it. To let him in and...and let myself...love him. And what happens? He's got his own "Little," his own ex that he can't get out of his system. Someone I know he loves (and she loves him), but they're probably just going to end up hurting each other again (just like I did/do with Little). Meanwhile, he could have been happy with me! I mean, okay, it's certainly possible it wouldn't work out given more time, but to have it cut off at the knees at a point where we still really had something, without even seeing it through, really sucks.

We're still trying to be friends. And I REALLY want this (I never see the point in becoming close to someone, learning so much about them and vice versa, just to toss it away because you're not going to "date" anymore), but now I'm not sure I can. I'm not sure I'll even be ALLOWED to. It seems he's on the verge of getting back together with his ex, and I can't imagine she'll be cool with him hanging out with me alone (or even with other friends), and I don't think I could handle seeing him with her.

And the thing that's killing me more than anything is that he's already over me. It's true. I asked him. I just can't believe that! It hurts so much! Fine, you can't be with me because you're still in love with someone else, I get that, 100%. But really, all that shit that he felt for me is GONE? Already? A few weeks (ok, maybe a month) later? It's not like we've had NO contact since then, so he could forget about me. Here I am, replaying all the really awesome moments between us and it makes this awful pressure in my chest and I have to take deep breaths to try to get rid of it.

And sometimes I feel like I'm crazy for feeling this way. Am I some crazy stalker or something? Is it weird that I feel this strongly for someone I dated so briefly? Especially considering he's over it already?

I've got these texts saved from him...really sweet things...it fucking kills me to read them, but will I delete them? No. I like to hurt myself apparently. But I need them to prove to myself that this wasn't a one-sided thing. That this wasn't all in my head, so I don't think I'm a nut-job.

I went out on a fucking date last week and then fucking called him on my way home. Gah! I'm an idiot.

But so is he. I would've been a fucking awesome girlfriend. I would have treated him fucking great. I already do.

This hurts so bad. The only good thing to come of it has been that it's helped with my friendship with Little. I'm too upset about someone else to be pouting about Little, so we can be just friends.

Ouch.

The End.

PS I probably shouldn't have posted this, as I gave him the URL while we were still seeing each other. But he probably won't read it anyhow. He barely looked at it when he liked me, I can't imagine he would now that he doesn't.

The Eagle Has Landed

Well, not really. I just wanted to say that.

Eagle just stopped in to say hello...and massage my shoulders for a few seconds!! ::sigh:: ;-) While I did thoroughly enjoy this, I will say, had this happened 4 years ago, I'd've probably freaked the fuck out. I probably would have froze, legs would have gotten weak, and maybe even wouldn't have been able to talk for awhile. :-P haha I'm much more calm about him nowadays, since we've become friends.

But boy, he's still just as handsome. ;-)

The End.

No Motivation & Becoming Jane

I have zero motivation to work this week. I don't know what's going on. I'm semi-depressed I think.

Then last night I watched Becoming Jane and cried at the end. Also, I am sad that I can't have James McAvoy all to myself... ::sigh::


But yeah, I'm a sucker for a period movie. I love the English... ::sigh:: This was a sweet movie, similar to Pride & Prejudice, but I think that's the point. Ann Hathaway was pretty good, though I thought I caught a moment where she lost the accent. It was weird. Anyway, I might not have loved it as much if not for McAvoy. H-O-T. ;-)


Man, that guy could motivate me to do anything!

The End.

I've Just Seen a Face

I've just seen a face,

I can't forget the time or place
Where we just met.
She's just the girl for me
And I want all the world to see
We've met, mmm-mmm-mmm-m'mmm-mmm.
Had it been another day
I might have looked the other way
And I'd have never been aware.
But as it is I'll dream of her
Tonight, di-di-di-di'n'di.
Falling, yes I am falling,
And she keeps calling
Me back again...::sigh::

The End.

WALL•E!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Holy crap, I love this movie so much. I love Wall•E so much, he is the cutest thing there ever was!!!!!!!!!! If you haven't seen this, SEE THIS! NOW! I blubbered like a fool at times. The most lovable robot you could ever possibly imagine. Tears. Lots of tears. Everything he did pulled at my heart-strings. Ridiculous.

(Semi-) SPOILERZ below the picture! Do not read if you don't want to know! (Just a list of my favourite moments.)

• The spork! Awesome!
• The "boxing" robot! Holy awesome!
• Pet bug in the twinkie! Adorable!
• Mac start-up noise/symbol!
• Wall•E always introducing himself!
• "Mo" or whatever the cleaning guy was called!
• That one robot who pushes buttons, learning to wave!
• Eve. So pretty. ;-)
• Cliff Clavin! Sigourney Weaver! (I love figuring out voices!)

More... ::sigh:: Best movie.

Oh, I also saw Hancock:


Not bad. I don't know why everyone's hatin' on it. It was fun! Some goofy shit, some stuff that could have been better, sure. But on the whole, I enjoyed it. Will Smith was great (I love him) and JASON BATEMAN was in it!!! Can't go wrong there!! (See my Juno post...I love him...) It was a lot of fun. Period. That's enough for me!

The End.

Taken Quite a Few Steps Now!

I was about to get ready for bed when I realised my first blog post was made the last time I went to a Cyclones game, so I figured I just HAD to post tonight, after my second ever Cyclones game, 9 months later. Hmmmm...so it's ALMOST like I'm giving birth to this post...what? Hey, I said ALMOST...

Anyway, tonight was pretty much like last time. More annoying because we had a rain delay of about an hour, but better because we had better seats and I gots me some souvenirs, Nathan's hot dog & fries and an ice cream helmet. (Last year I just started Weight Watchers so didn't want to ruin it, this year, I'm more lenient...in fact, I've barely been following it for the last 2 months...but I'll get back! I promise!!)

Had to leave the game early. It was after 10 and only the 7th inning. As it was I got home around 12. Ugh. Nice uncomfortable bus(es) ride home.

I guess a lot has happened since that first post in September. I've been to LA and another trip to Portland/Seattle. Ended that stupidity with Hot Dog, topped off with a relapse with Little. GOT PROMOTED. Finally got business cards! Changed my hair in TWO all-new, all-different ways. Been to a shitload of concerts, baseball games and other various events. Had a fantastic New Years party (as usual). Lost nearly 15 lbs. (keep gaining and losing a few pounds, but staying in the same general area), dropping a pants size! Woohoo! Continued to kick box, resulting in the arms I've always wanted (and even newly-discoverd LEG muscles!!!)!! Got a bike and rode the 5 boro bike tour!!!!! Got a Wii and many games (WiiFit is the newest and I'm currently sore from using it). Basically keeping as busy as possible.

I guess I should go to sleep now. The boys and the dog are all asleep already...

The End.

Ladies Love Assholes?

I saw Hot Dog the other day and it got me thinking about the theory that girls love assholes. Usually I find it's guys who have trouble getting ladies that ascribe to this theory. They tend to think (or tell themselves) it's because they're "nice guys" that the ladies don't flock to them. I will say, there is SOME truth to this (although, lets be honest, it all depends on the girl, we're not one big hive mind...seriously, we're not...no, really), but I think it might be more that the more traditionally "hot" guys TEND to become kind of full of themselves and therefore assholes with women (there are, of course, exceptions). But even that is flimsy. Some girls like a challenge, too. They think they can CHANGE them. I don't know, but I just hate when guys say that, because in general I HATE assholes. I can only really think of the one (Hot Dog) that I ever dated. I don't even think I've KISSED any other assholes. They've all been pretty sweet, Sometimes stupid, but sweet nonetheless.

However, I will admit to having crushes on a few assholes. So I was thinking about why this is. Why guys like Hot Dog at all? I think the one thing that can be appealing about these guys is the idea that, although they're total pricks to most people, there are moments when they are sweet to YOU. Those moments are like little victories (I guess this goes along the "wanting to change them" theory). A looooong time ago, back in High School, there was this total douchebag that I had an incredible crush on. Let's call him AJ. (To be fair, I had like 10 BILLION crushes back then...oh who am I kidding, I've ALWAYS got 10 BILLION crushes!!) Anyway, so AJ was fucking MEAN to me (and many others). MEEEEEEAN!! But for a brief time we shared the same friends, so he and I were around each other a lot then. To make a long story short, one night I was talking to him alone for a few minutes and he's being kind of nice. Finally I asked why he was being so nice to me and he pinches my nose and says "I'm done being mean to you." (Of course, he wasn't, the worst of his meanness came later.) I was so frakking happy, it was ridiculous!

Now I'm not saying nice guys couldn't make me happy like that, but there's something to this total douche suddenly being nice to YOU. Makes it more exciting or something. Similarly, with Hot Dog, the moments we were alone and he would call me beautiful or say something really nice to me were heightened because they were surrounded by meanness. It's stupid, but there it is. But shit like that doesn't last and I'm glad I remembered I didn't even like Hot Dog in the first place. It's much better this way. I will always have a soft spot for him though, and I'll never be able to hate him like I should. But thank goodness I got past that! I'm MUCH happier now.

As for AJ. Oi. What a toolbag. We recently have been re-acquainted or whatever. We're civil to each other and I'm a crazy sentimental fool so the fact that I've known him this long and we went to High School together, kind of makes me not mind talking to him. But...well, he's a toolbag still...and really gross!!! I can't believe I LIKED him, liked him. hahahaha

Do YOU like assholes??

The End.

Oooh Pretty!

I went to a wedding on Saturday as a favour to a friend. It was very nice, very big, and I had chateaubriand steak. Nice! (Also really cool, during the cocktail hour, was the martini glass filled with mashed potatoes that you put stuff on, like cheese and sour cream and onions. Fun!) Slightly strange to be there, as I was one of maybe 20 white people in a sea of over 200 Asians. ;-) Oddly enough, the dress I wore (which I didn't realise until later) was one that I wore to another Asian-centric wedding in 2002. Coincidence?

Anyway, it was in a beautiful wedding hall with this pretty lake behind it. Here are the only pictures I took at this wedding:



















































































Can you tell I'm obsessed with lamposts? haha Here are some pictures I took on Mt. Tabor in Portland earlier this year:



































I just love 'em! Maybe it's something to do with Narnia... :-P

Pretty!

The End.

Reunion!!!!

So I had my 10-year High-School reunion this past weekend! SUPER AWESOME!

I swear, I had been waiting for this since graduation day. I am probably the most sentimental person of anyone I know. I was BAWLING at my graduation; a wreck! I am also probably the only one who really liked High School out of everyone I know. And there was even an anti-me club!!

Yes, that's right, some douchebag probably couldn't handle the fact that he LIKED me, and so, decided to have a club based around HATING me. They didn't really do anything except write their little symbol on stuff. Real mature, huh? The members just consisted of this kid, and a few freshmen (this happened in my junior year) that thought he was cool and would have done anything he said.

Anyway, aside from that, I thought High School was great! I knew then how much easier it was compared to what was coming ahead in my life, so I enjoyed it. It's also where I became the person I am today, where I gained confidence and started to finally like myself. I stood out from the rest for the first time in my life, and I was friendly with almost everybody. My school was pretty tame (public, but you had to be accepted, so less douchebags...though obviously not NONE), and the amount of kids in each year was pretty small. My graduating class was approx. 180 kids, and that was the largest class in the school's history. So, I knew almost everyone in my class. In fact, I remember, senior year I went through all the kids in my class and figured out that I had talked to everyone in my class at least once, except for like, 2 of them, which I then rectified before graduation.

So the reunion...AWESOME! :-) The turn-out was pretty good, I'd say 40 gradutates, give or take a few (plus some significant others). It was almost surreal being in the same room with these people. Everyone looked mostly the same, it almost felt like no time had passed. It was fun talking to everyone, even people I never really talked to during high school. But everyone remembered me, even FORGETTING that I had a mohawk, which makes me feel good because they remembered ME and not my hair. One of my ABSOLUTE FAVOURITE teachers from high school was there and he waited for ME before leaving! It's so damned nice to feel loved! :) I also got to impress everyone with my job, which felt great!

We had so much fun together, we hung out waaaaay past the reunion's official end. I think I got home around 3AM (after dropping off McEats and another high school pal I see sometimes...let's call him...Grey! haha). Everyone seemed to be doing well, a few couples, a preggo, a few new parents, most doing things they enjoy. I really like seeing the twins again, who shot up and bulked up, but are still as sweet as ever. We reminisced about our "Church of Satanism" project...man, I wish I could just replay those moments of my life and watch. The memories leave out so much...

Anyway, I loved it. They all seemed to enjoy it. And I can't wait for the next one!

The End.

What's so bad about The Happening?

Every one is ragging on this movie. I haven't really heard any concrete reasons for why they think it's so crap. I suppose I could look online...but I'm lazy. In any case, I LIKED it! I saw it yesterday with my dad for Father's Day (my father LOVES movies, he saw Zohan Friday, Hulk Saturday and then Happening Sunday). I thought it was enjoyable! Really creepy, freaked me out and made me jump, and kind of cool. I love Mark Wahlberg and he did a great job, as usual. Zooey Deschanel is not the best actress and she seems to always play her roles as a space cadet, but she's so damned cute I can let it slide. I also like The Village and Lady in the Water which had tons of negative reviews, so that can give some perspective on my opinion.

Otherwise, I almost got into a fight at the theatre! Some total douchebag was using those LAME pen/lazer light thingies throughout the trailers. So I finally got up and turned around to see if I could find out where it was coming from. Turns out it was a dude RIGHT behind me! So I asked him if he was going to be doing that the whole time. He was all quite, only talking back to me BARELY. First he was all "I don't know what you're talking about." So I said "Open your hand and I'll show you what I'm talking about." Then he said something about me being nice or something and I said something about him not being nice with that thing. I just kept asking if he was going to keep doing that, which he wouldn't answer and I told him that now that I know who was doing it, I would have the theatre "cops" come and take him out. He had like 4 friends with him, all of which didn't say a word. Hilarious. Fucking tough guy causes a disturbance that he can do anonymously (unless someone is FACING him and sees the light in his hand) and then doesn't even have the balls to talk back to a lone girl who's giving him shit.

After I sat down, my dad was like "Do I have to kick his ass now?" Guy was a big pussy though. He did it twice throughout the actual movie, to which all the other people in the audience yelled at him. Next time he did it, I was prepared to get up and point him out to the whole theatre. He probably knew that and ceased. Loser.

I won't lie. When I sat back down, I had a flutter in my chest and I was shaking a little. I'm not normally one to confront people like that, but that shit really pissed me off. I kinda wonder what would have happened had he tried to fight me. I'm thinking the audience wouldn't have been to keen on a bunch of guys fighting a girl...

I bet I could've gotten at least one good punch in!

The End.

Public?

I may go through this blog and delete all the personal stuff, and then take it semi-public.

But then, I'll have to actually post more often... :-P We'll see.

The End.

STARBUCK!!!!!!

Holy crap, I just finished Battlestar Galactica Season 1 and I am in love with this show.

But mostly, I love Starbuck.

Seriously, she's the coolest woman EVER. She is coming dangerously close to rivaling my love of Xena. Which she might do b/c I know Lucy shows up in Season Two and is possibly a villain of some kind.

This show is great. Sci-fi, but a very real drama. The characters are all great and I've teared up for happy things and sad things. Fucking awesome.

::sigh:: Starbuck...


























The End.

I give up!

So I went out with Tall again. (Saw Run, Fatboy, Run which is pretty good, though not nearly as good as Hot Fuzz and Shawn of the Dead.) And, yes, I think I'm already not too into him...


It's official, I belong on Seinfeld. It's so stupid, but like the way he talks sometimes or laughs...bothers me! He's a sweetheart and interested in things I'm interested in, etc., but I get turned off by stupid little things! My one hope is that some of it is some sort of nerves thing, cuz some of it seems that way and might go away once he's more comfortable with me...but who knows if we'll get to that point.

I might give this one at least one more shot, as opposed to Yoga who I just can't. But I just don't see it sticking.

I think one of the things that keeps me stuck on Little is possibly, all his little stupid things that annoy me I've already gotten past and accept and I'm used to. And I just don't want to deal with getting through that again.

I also kind of...well, I want to be swept away! You know? I don't want to have to say "Oh, I'll give this guy another shot, maybe I'll like him." I want to be super excited to go out with him every time!!! If it's not exciting in the beginning, it's not likely to GROW into excitement. I at least deserve to have it for a little while! :P

Cripes, this is just getting stressful. I really want to give up on dating. I like how I've always got something to do and friends to hang out with. I don't need a date!

We'll see how I feel when it's been more than a month since I've gotten laid... ;-)

The End.

Dumbass

I backed into a parked car leaving the parking lot from kickboxing. I'm such an idiot. Now I'll have to pay for whatever she says happened (which really was just some of my paint got on her car). Hopefully she's honest. ::sigh::

Anyway, going to see Run, Fatboy, Run with Tall tomorrow! :) Can't wait to see it! Hope the date goes well. I want to like him. :)

The End.

One down...

So I went on a second date with Yoga yesterday. Overall, it was a nice day, we had brunch at around 1 and then rode out bikes (I LOVE MY NEW BIKE!!!) for about an hour on the boardwalk. Nice.

But it's over for Yoga...poor Yoga.

He's a really nice guy...and cute (not HOT, but cute), but I just don't feel it. Maybe I AM being Seinfeld about it, but he's a little weird...and he talks weird, kind of mumbles, laughs a lot weirdly...(haha TOTALLY Seinfeld) and the most annoying thing: he has this habit of CONSTANTLY finishing my sentences...but WRONG. He'll repeatedly finish my thought and then I have to tell him no and THEN finish what I was saying. It's so fucking annoying! But he doesn't do it in a mean way or anything, so I can't be mad, but gah! Drove me nuts!

Ew, and then I kept seeing snot hanging down his nose when we were riding our bikes. Yes, it was kind of cold and that shit happens, I know, but it would be there too long before he wiped it away. Gross. TOTALLY turned me off. ::sigh:: Like I said, poor guy.

I could have kept riding, but I really just wanted to get away so I told him I was tired and had to take a nap (that the riding wore me out). I didn't totally lie, I did nap for about 1/2 hour but that was an hour or so after I got home. Now I have to figure out how to get out of this. LUCKILY, he knows how busy I am, so I can put it off for awhile and then he's going away for three weeks. Hopefully I can stall until then so it's like been over a month and it'll be easier to just tell him I don't have time to date anyone, or something like that. We'll see.

Meanwhile, Tall called again — HE was away for a few days — and hopefully we'll do something on Tuesday. I already had something to do, but I asked if he just wanted to come along. Hopefully it won't be too weird with some friends around, I know it's only the second date. But I figured we could have dinner before this comedy thing and then afterwards we usually all go to a bar so maybe it won't be so weird as long as I pay attention to him. We'll see, he hasn't called back yet (I left this suggestion in a message, he doesn't have a mobile).

Oh, I just remembered too, Yoga also made some awkward attempts to like kiss me or SOMEthing, wasn't sure WHAT he was trying. When we came back to my house after brunch to get my bike, I had to use the bathroom so he came inside and I showed him around a bit. In the living room and in my room, he like stood real close and like KIND OF put his around around my waist, but not really...it was awkward. I don't know if he wanted to make out or what. I mean, we made out A LOT on the first date, but we were also pretty fucking trashed. It would have been weird...I guess especially b/c I wasn't feelin' it. I guess he IS.

Gah! I hate that it's so rare that the guy and the girl are on the same page (well, not rare in general), or barely anyone would be in a relationship, but I guess rare in each individuals life). Like why can't he also not see how it's not there. He'd be a good enough guy to hang out with once and awhile if we were friends, but it's just not there otherwise.

Ah well...I still have hope for Tall. But who knows, I'm a fucking dumb-ass...

The End.

Sick

Now I'm stuck home sick! I missed work — which I really didn't want to b/c I've got a lot to do — and I have to skip the second date with Tall I was going to have today! I was skipping kickboxing for it and all! Waaaaaah!

At least I can go pick up my bike which I missed out on doing on Saturday b/c they changed their hours...grrrrrrrrr....

Okay, that's all. LAME post...

The End.

I Don't Want A Boyfriend...

This is what I'm thinking about this morning. I think maybe this is what it feels like to be a guy. ;-)

I called Tall back last night, no answer, left a message that this week was no good and maybe next week. But now I have to call again tonight and tell him that I CAN go out tomorrow night, as my Thursday night plan has been postponed to NEXT Thursday night! While I was calling Tall, Yoga was calling me. Just to say hi (he left a message)!

Gragh! I'm actually ANNOYED by all of this! I don't want to talk to Yoga until I see him (I no longer like the phone AND I want to save stuff to talk about for when I see him so there's no awkward silences). I don't want to have to try to figure out when I can squeeze these dates in and I'm NOT canceling any of my plans b/c I LIKE my plans. And sometimes it's nice to have a night doing nothing (my last two Saturdays), but I'll have to give those up for these guys...

I know, I know, oh pooooor me, right? I don't know. I guess I just can't be happy. I whinge about being lonely and then when I have some prospects, I'm complaining that I don't really want to deal with them! It's feels like work and I just don't want to deal with it! This is probably one of the reasons I keep myself so attached to Little. I don't have to "date" him and as long as I have him as an excuse for not being ready, I don't have to try that hard with anyone else.

Bah! I just want to eat, drink, chill with friends, go to shows, kickbox, ride my bike (haven't gotten it yet, but I will this weekend! woo!), read, play video games, travel...everything! I want to do everything! So, who's got time for a boyfriend (let alone, TWO)?!?!

The End.

Boys Part 2: The Waiter

So I was at a pub this Sunday (not for St. Patrick's Day, for McEats' belated birthday gathering, but it was full of the Irish!) and we had a table with a waiter to bring us beer. I liked this waiter. :-P The drunker I got, the more I watched him and giggled like a doofus and kept telling McEats that I liked him. He liked that I liked him b/c he likes the pub. haha So McEats' girlfriend (lets call her...Curls) decided she would take matters into her own hands and give him my number. So gets a piece of paper and gets McEats to give her the number and she puts it with the check (his shift was over so we were settling his bill before we had a new waiter). At first I took it away, too nervous, but then after some prodding by both Curls and McEats (I really like using these names!), I gave in (McEats' sound reasoning is if he calls, I'm not a loser, and if he doesn't, well, I don't go to that pub that often anyway). Sitting there for a few seconds, I eventually freaked out and ran to the loo to pee.

Within seconds after I came back to the table, he came over and introduced himself...hmmmm, let's call him Tall...and asked where I was from, if I was in school, etc. He seemed interested in what I do for a living, which was cool. He said he was exhausted and had to leave, but it was nice meeting me and did I really want him to call? So I said yes. After this, I had to leave to go see a band I like, with Little (sigh) and other friends. Getting drunker, I was nervous all night that Tall wouldn't call and that he was so cute. haha

Then the next morning, I realised I was WAAAAY more nervous that he MIGHT call! (Also a little worried that he wouldn't be as cute sober...)

So. Guess who called a few hours ago? I was at work and didn't answer and when I noticed it was not a number I knew, I panicked. Checked the voicemail. Yep. Tall. Very sweet asked if I was still interested in getting a drink or dinner sometime and gave me his number. Gah! I haven't called back yet. I've tried to call McEats, but he's probably working somewhere and I can't get ahold of him.

::sigh:: Same problem occurs with the timing if we DO go out, though I've decided I can skip my current Friday plans if need be. (Weird how I wouldn't skip it for Yoga...haha...but I guess it's better to make the guy wait longer for the second date, than the first.) Man, the life of a single young(-ish) girl! It's nerve-wracking! haha

Seriously! My stomach is doing flip-flops! I'm scared to call back! It's funny how I'm so good at talking to people, but I just can't make myself know this at times like these!

(Just looked over my calendar quick...I really am busy...I'll probably lose both of these guys b/c I won't be around to see them!)

Okay, I'm going to go home now. I'll call on my way home so I have an out in the conversation! ;-)

The End.

Boys Part 1: The Date

So I had a date Friday night! This is a very rare occurrence for me. And by date, I mean, going out with someone you barely know to see if you'll like each other. I've "gone out" with guys plenty of times, but usually after I've either been friends with them or known them somehow and have already kissed them at least once (like at a party or some random drunk bar thing). This was one of the few real "date" dates, like in the movies. ;-)

It wasn't very formal at all, though. We agreed to meet up for drinks, so we ended up at a bar that served like BBQ or whatever. And I didn't exactly NOT know him, I went to school with his sister for 7 years, but I really never talked to him until recently when I ran into him at a local bar. Then, about a month and a half ago, he ended up being on my bus going home and we talked briefly. I kept thinking about him that night and thinking he was kind of cute and maybe I should see if he's interested, try it out. So I sent him a message on MYSPACE (ahhh, myspace) — as we'd "friended" each other when we ran into each other the first time — and I kind of manipulated him into asking me out (not that he didn't want to and I tricked him, just worked it so I didn't have to do the asking!) and we had a tentative "date" to get a beer together (actually, it was supposed to be the same week I went out for drinks with Catch-22). It got a little postponed, but we finally went out Friday.

And it was...nice. I have to admit, not AMAZING or anything. But I had fun (I DID get pretty wasted, though). He's very sweet and cute and I had fun making out with him. ;-) He's a little bit weird, not in a bad way...just...I can't explain, just a bit weird. Not creepy or anything. CRAZY into Yoga, does like 12 hours a week! But yeah, sweet and cute. And he seems intelligent, and he has (what I would consider) good views on politics and religion (so far as I can tell at this point, anyway). So we'll see. I'm definitely going to try again. I'll try not to drop him too quickly, as I've been prone to do lately. As long as I'm still attracted to him, I'm going to try to keep it going. (I say that b/c THAT keeps happening too...and I can't keep trying if I'm no longer attracted to him enough to even kiss him! But I'm going to try not to be so "Seinfeld" about it! haha)

Big problem (though, maybe NOT a problem) is that I've got an insanely busy schedule and the next time I even have a day to see him is...I don't know when! Probably two weeks! I don't know how this dating thing works and if that's too long...but I kind of want it to go REALLY slow regardless as I enjoy a lot of things about being single...like having a really busy schedule...and being able to kiss/date/give my phone number to anyone...

Which brings me to part 2...

The End...for now!

PS Just realised I didn't give him a name! He shall be...Yoga...simple enough!

Where the hell have I been?

Busy. Super-fucking-busy! Work has been nuts, I went to LA and I've been doing lots of things, including playing Wii!

Eventually I'll talk about all this stuff...for now I'm going to go to the pub! I need a beer!

The End.

The Internet is for PORN!

I saw Avenue Q the other night.

I!
LOVED!
IT!

Seriously, go see this fucking musical! It was awesome! Let me make clear, I'm NOT a fan of musicals. I've seen about ... 5 or 6? I saw Grease, only b/c Lucy Lawless was in it and I'm a HUGE Xena fan (it was okay, though she was the best thing about it); I saw Our House which is a musical made from music by Madness (which I only saw b/c I LOVE Madness, this was actually pretty cool, but mostly b/c of the music); I saw Spamalot (because I heard good things, love all things British AND I got free tickets, and this too was fantastic — HILARIOUS — and I got to see it with David Hyde Pierce and Hank Azaria); I saw Wicked (b/c I LOVED the book, the play was good in it's own right, but not as good as the book — they took a lot of the "darkness" and political shit out of it for the show); oh, and I saw Wolves in the Walls based on a Neil Gaiman children's book (b/c I'm a huge Neil Gaiman fan, this was pretty cool too, though it was for children and a little weird...but the sets were amazing). I may have seen another but I can't remember.

I just don't really like the "break into song" thing. Usually only if it's funny....like Spamalot and Avenue Q!

Anyway, Avenue Q: VERY, VERY funny, very real-world and poignant. The characters are great, the songs are great. It's PUPPETS for chrissakes, it's hilarious! The freakin' superintendent is Gary Coleman! Not that Gary Coleman is PLAYING the superintendent, it's someone else playing Gary Coleman AS the superintendent! Genius!

I even got a little teary eyed during the song that goes "There's a fine line b/t love and wasting your time" as it hit me a little too close to home. Even my friend...let's call her Sleepy...said when that song was on she was thinking "Poor Girl, she has to see her life played out by puppets." haha

Anyway, the absolute BEST part was TREKKIE MONSTER!!!!!!!!!
I love, love, love HIM!!! He's a big Monster puppet who loves porn!! Seriously, I loved him from his first moment b/c of how cute he was, then he fucking sings about how the internet is good for porn and I was just smitten! I mean....LOOK AT HIM!!!! ;-) All I want is a big Trekkie Monster doll I can cuddle...but NO, there is none! Goddamn it! It's a cruel world we live in where I can find the most awesome character in the world and not have a big softie doll of him! And it would be soft! He's got that super-soft looking shaggy fur! ::sigh::

Anyway, so there's my review. Go see this musical, if you can. Fan-fucking-tastic.

The End. (FOR PORN!)

Stupid, stupid, stupid!

I played Guitar Hero with Catch-22 the other night — for a few hours —and fell in love with the game. He had it for X-Box which comes with a cordless guitar. I only have GameCube and my boys only have Playstations...so rather than either 1) buying Guitar Hero for Playstation; 2) not buying it at ALL and just playing at the houses of various friends I know that HAVE it; or 3) at least WAITING until I can get a Wii at a reasonable price...what do I do? I go on ebay and spend an exorbitant amount of money on a Wii console (with extra controller, extra nunchuk – whatever THAT'S for, the WiiSports package AND the WiiPlay package...and I THINK a charger) and also the Wii version of Guitar Hero. I'm stupid. I have ridiculous amounts of credit card debt!! What am I doing!?

And my justification? We're likely getting a $300 or $600 (I've got conflicting info) check from the Federal government (that they should probably keep and put towards stuff we need...like being free from debt or universal health care). So rather than use this unexpected money to get out of debt myself (I guess I should do as I say, huh?), I spend it BEFORE I EVEN GET IT on a game system I'll probably end up barely using...

Oh well...I've wanted the Wii for awhile now...now I'll have it. So being broke is worth not being jealous, right?

.........maybe not.....

The End.

Catch-22

When you like a guy with a girlfriend and yet you still manage to make out with him. You get what you wanted (well, sort of) but now he's less appealing b/c he's a cheating fuck-head. So even if he leaves said girlfriend, you can never trust him enough to be the replacement.

::sigh::


The End.

Heathcliff!!

Everyone's blogging/talking/reporting about this, I know, but I just had to mention the death of Heath Ledger (who I just found out is called Heathcliff...makes sense, I just never thought of it — and Heathcliff is adorable)!

I know he's some dude I've never met, but he was beautiful (seriously, it's ridiculous) and was finally a respected actor (remember 10 Things I Hate About You? haha). I thought he was fantastic in Brokeback. Totally stole Gyllenhaal's show and I loved him before that movie. His Joker looks like it's going to be awesome too. It's weird, I almost shed a tear yesterday.

It really IS weird how the whole famous-person thing works. You don't know these people, but they're in your lives kind of and especially when they play characters that you love (and do it well), you sometimes can't help but feel like you know them and love them. I don't know...well, either way, it's stupidly sad, especially b/c of his little girl (even though I hate children, I don't want them to lose their parents). Also, I didn't know he was only 28! Christ that's young!

Anyway, just wanted to say something about it. Nothing profound, just that I'm actually saddened by this.

The End.

PS I believe Brad Renfro (another young actor, though not as popular) died this week too...I don't know how, but that's what the interwebs is for! :-P

PPS See what I mean? Gorgeous:

It's A Beautiful Morning!

So I'm sleeping on the train ride to work this morning (as usual), and I'm jolted awake a one of the stops (by my own subconscious making sure I'm not missing my stop) and directly across from me I see this INCREDIBLY attractive guy! ::sigh:: I swear — BEAUTIFUL! I rarely see anyone I find attractive on my daily commute and have NEVER seen someone THIS attractive. It made me finally see the folly of my "don't get dolled up to go to work" rule. :-P I almost never put my contact lenses in, I don't wear make-up, and I wear an oversized army parka so I look like I might be fat under there. Plus I'm sleeping, mouth probably falling open. I mean, I'm not going to change this, I'm too exhausted in the mornings to start worrying about shit like that (though I've been thinking of getting a "girlier" coat...but I love this one...oh the problems one must face! :-P).

Anyway, goddamn his gorgeous face! And he looked really sweet too. You can tell a lot from a person's expressions and he definitely didn't look like an asshole. He had a sort of wide-eyed innocent face, though not childish at all. I can't really remember his clothes, but he was semi-fashionable, he had "product" in his hair (I think it's funny that hairstylists call it "product")! haha

I was then torn between staring at him and continuing to sleep, the latter being the choice I gave in to; I'm exhausted in the mornings (as proven by the fact that I've said it TWICE in this post)! Though I did open my eyes a few more times to peek. I was actually relieved when he got off the train. Sucks that this city is so huge and I'll probably NEVER see him again. Though, if I do, it'd be like "fate" or some shit, and I'd be a moron to not try to talk to him...which is what I'll probably end up calling myself b/c I'll definitely be too scared.

Man, this guy is going to haunt my brain for awhile, I'm sure...

The End.

NOT like the city in Alaska

This post is about Juno. I saw it last weekend. There might be spoilers. I warned ya!

Here's my review: AWESOME! :) I really liked this. It's sweet, it's quirky...it's not perfect, but I really enjoyed it.

Ellen Page is adorable! Michael Cera does his shy, awkward kid thing again, but he does it so well, I love him too. (Though if he wants to continue acting, he should probably try to branch out a bit.)

JK Simmons — duh. The guy is fantastic. As the shrink on Law and Order, I loved him. I never really watched Oz, but what I did see of him was great. And please! Him as J. Jonah Jameson?? PERFECT! It's no different in this movie.

Great acting all around. Even Jennifer Garner was good! Normally, I can't stand her (though I haven't seen Alias yet), but she was kind of charming, in a sweet way, in this movie. A normal woman. I liked that.

But my favourite thing about this movie (well, that's a lie, I liked the story and the girl best, but this is the part I have stuck in my head): Jason Bateman. ::sigh:: I don't know how I have not been infatuated with him until now. And I'm considered a nutjob for falling in love with him b/c of his character in Juno...well, b/c he was basically a pedophile. Not THAT extreme, but...well, he thinks he's going to hook up with a 16-year-old!! Even I was creeped out by that at first, but when nothing happened, I felt better and then I just felt bad for him. He was in a marriage with a woman that didn't let him be who he wanted to be and considered wearing rock t-shirts "not growing up." Then, along comes this adorable girl who plays guitar with him, swaps music with him and watches gore flicks with him. The perfect girl for him...except for the fact that she's 16 and pregnant. I really did feel bad — creeped out, sure — but bad. And aside from that, his character was soooo cool! And he's so cute! I mean, how can I NOT fall for this:Seriously! ;-) And I forgot how I used to watch The Hogan Family religiously...though I think I had a crush on the stupid twin at the time...ugh. And I've always loved his sister, Justine Bateman. Mallory was my FAVOURITE female on television when I was a kid. (That's from Family Ties if you don't know, and if you don't know, then I don't want to know YOU.) You should have seen how happy I was when she showed up on Lois & Clark years later! :-P (Me=Dork.)

Anyway, great movie. Go see it.

The End.

PS So, of course I went and bought Season One of Arrested Development this weekend...